8 reasons your direct mail appeal didn't work (Part 3)
By Wayne Gurley
3. You wrote about something your audience cared about, but you wrote it in such a way that it bored them to tears.
Sure, you can have an exciting and motivating message. But you can write it in such a way that makes your audience yawn and want to throw it in the trash can. For example…
You can include a lot of statistics, which are deadly in direct mail.
You can write using the institutional “we,” which comes across as cold and impersonal.
You can brag about what your organization does or has done, instead of bragging about what the donor has done to help you achieve your goals.
You can use big words, long sentences and long paragraphs.
You can write at a college reading level, instead of a 6th-grade reading level.
You can try to change the way your donors think, instead of meeting them where they already are.
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